Wedding Budget Percentages and Why I Hate Them

Do you want the AVERAGE wedding?

You can read just about any bridal magazine and they are going to have an article on what percentage of your wedding budget should be spent on the ceremony, the food, dress, music, flowers, etc. These numbers are based on "averages". Bully for them. They filled another couple of pages in their magazine and made it look like an even better buy for your money because it is so big.

It's bull crap! Don't let some magazine tell you where to spend your money. Think about what is the very most important thing to you (other than finding the perfect spouse). Have you always dreamed of a wedding with tons of flowers? Well, then get married in a garden or spend a larger share of your budget on flowers and less on something else.


Don't skimp either.

Twenty years ago Scott and I thought we would save money so we didn't hire a professional photographer. We bought a bunch of disposables and trusted our friends to take plenty of pictures. Big mistake. We have no wedding photos with his mother in them and only one shot of his dad. No formal shots with the whole family together. Didn't seem like such a big deal at the time but looking back I really wish we had gone the formal route. Scott's mother died five years ago and my brother passed away last September.

So think about what is not only important to you now; but, what will be important in 10 or 20 years.

Percentages can be misleading

A bridal magazine suggests that your wedding dress, his tux, and misc. items be 17% of the budget. I was way out of whack on that one. We bought a brand new business suit for Scott including shoes. Together they cost more than my dress, undergarments, and shoes. Our clothing cost 26% of our budget. But today he can still wear both his suit and shoes so it was a wise decision. My dress was off the discontinued sales rack plus I got a 25% employee discount.

Okay let's look at the percentages for my wedding.

1. Clothing and miscellaneous 32% - magazine suggested percentage 17%
2. Reception (venue, food, decor) 13% - suggested 39%
3. Ceremony (venue, officiant, license) 4% - suggested 3%
4. Photographer 2% - suggested 12%
5. Invitations 5% - suggested 3%
6. Wedding rings 11% - suggested 4%
7. Flowers 3% and about ten hours in time - suggested 5%
8. Wedding planner 0% - suggested 8%
9. Honeymoon 30% - suggested 12%

So what caused my wedding to be so different from the averages? Scott and I married in a local public park at 2PM in the afternoon. Our reception in the same location consisted of finger foods, cake, punch, a volleyball set-up, Nerf footballs, incredible music and ended at 5PM. The flowers consisted of silk bouquets for myself and my matron of honor and boutonnieres for Scott and his best man. I wasn't really into the flowers all that much so my sister and I bought the silks and made them ourselves. As I mentioned we made a mistake not hiring a professional for the photographs. In retrospect we would have spent a little more money to get a professional photographer.

As a special event coordinator I was my own wedding coordinator and Scott is a professional disc jockey so he arranged for our music. Our honeymoon. We actually had two honeymoons. Three days immediately after the wedding at a mountain retreat just the two of us. A month later we joined 13 family members on a houseboat for a week on Lake Powell. We also took an additional week leisurely driving down to Lake Powell and back from our home in Colorado.

We spent the money on memories rather than locations, food, or flowers. The total cost of our wedding was about $1500.00. Remember, this was 20 years ago. :)

What part of your wedding is most important to you?

Why a Wedding Costs So Much

Legitimate wedding professionals are not trying to gouge you.

When brides and grooms start budgeting for their wedding they are often shocked at the cost of everything. Some even assume that the wedding vendors are trying to gouge them for big bucks just because it is a wedding and not a regular party. Well, it is a wedding; and weddings happen once in a lifetime (hopefully). A regular party can be done any day. Wedding professionals know how important a wedding is and the ones who do it right have legitimate expenses they need to cover.

Those expenses might include office space, office supplies, phone service, insurance, professional equipment, training, staff salaries, raw materials to create your flowers, cake, dinner, etcetera. Wedding professionals in general really love weddings; but, like all businesses they do need to make a profit in order to stay in business.

True, there are some people out there whose goal in life seems to be to cheat everyone. That is why referrals are so helpful. When you are looking at wedding professionals there are things to look for that are an indication of legitimacy.

1. How long have they been in business?
2. Do they have liability insurance?
3. How long does it take them to return your phone call or email inquiry?
4. Do they have a business phone or is it being answered by their child?
5. Proper licensing? For example: sales tax license for product sales from the state or a business license from the city (if needed)
6. Do they use contracts? Sadly, a handshake just doesn't work anymore?
7. Does the person providing services for your wedding have actual wedding experience?

Some wonderful businesses are home-based and should not be eliminated for that reason. What you need to know about any business is: how responsive are they to your needs?

Do a gut check!

Sure the price is incredible. What a deal. How can they do it for so little? Good question: how can they do it for so little? Where are they cutting corners? Will they still be in business in 12 months when your wedding takes place?

A rose by any other name...

Why do some people get married at "The Stanley Hotel" or "The Waldorf-Astoria" instead of a Hilton or Holiday Inn? Sometimes it's the view and sometimes it is the cachet. The service may be the same. What you must remember is that you will pay extra for that view or the "name".

You really do get what you pay for. You just have to ask yourself, "Do I really want what I am paying for?" And "Am I paying for what I really want?"

I'm Engaged, Now What?

Congratulations!

I remember when my husband asked me to marry him back in July of 1988. He came to join me for lunch and as we were walking down the hall toward the cafeteria he casually asked me what I thought of Larry as a best man. I did not have weddings on my mind at all so his question totally confused me. I asked, "A best man for what?" Scott remained silent and we kept walking. Then it hit me. Scott says I suddenly got a big smile on my face and then I said, "Oh, that would be fine." That was it. No down on one knee, no asking my dad for my hand. Nothing romantic. But almost twenty years later we are still happily married (okay, most of the time).

Here is the first thing I want to share with you. Marriage is not happiness and joy all the time. Sometimes it is darn hard work. Sometimes you cry and sometimes you yell, and sometimes you get worried sick. But it is worth it. The important thing is that you are both keep the lines of communication open. When one of you shuts up and refuses to talk anymore, then things get rough.

So my number one recommendation before you have that big wedding: talk, talk, talk. Not terribly romantic; but, a real necessity. Find out how each of you saves/spends money, thoughts on children, goals and dreams. And yes, discuss if you squeeze the toothpaste in the middle or from the end.

I push from the end. Scott is a middle squeezer. It was fairly easy to solve the problem because he uses a different brand of toothpaste than I do so we each have our own tube and neither of us gets frustrated with the other. But money, boy that is another story. I am a saver and Scott is a spender. The first three years were hell until we figured out our money thought processes.

Rough Spots

The other thing that has really helped Scott and I through the rough spots was that my mom's aunt and uncle were celebrating their 53rd wedding anniversary the same month Scott and I got married. We decided that we would commit to 53 years together and then if things were not working out we could re-evaluate and split if necessary. Every time I got mad at Scott I just reminded myself that I could get divorced at the end of those 53 years. Somehow, things always got better and we are still together. Looking back through the years there were several times it would have been easy to say "I quit". But that 53 year commitment was in the back of my head. Now mind you Scott is not an abuser, drunkard, or anything like that. If he had been anything of those things I would have been gone in a New York second, no ifs, ands, or buts!

What can you expect from this blog?

I'll be back later with thoughts on how and where to spend money on the wedding. Ideas that can make it easier for you. So, are you thinking what the heck is her background that she is ready to spout off about weddings?

Well, I am the co-owner of Solid Sound Entertainment, a disc jockey and event coordination service. I have seen my share of wedding ceremonies and receptions. Plus I was the wedding coordinator at my church for two years, I spent one summer working for a party rental company and I managed a special event facility for about 18 months. I've met bridezillas and worked with the sweetest brides in the world. And I have had the pleasure of working with true professionals in the industry, such as Keelee Doan at Crag's Lodge in Estes Park Colorado. That woman knows how to make you feel special!

See you soon.