I'm Engaged, Now What?

Congratulations!

I remember when my husband asked me to marry him back in July of 1988. He came to join me for lunch and as we were walking down the hall toward the cafeteria he casually asked me what I thought of Larry as a best man. I did not have weddings on my mind at all so his question totally confused me. I asked, "A best man for what?" Scott remained silent and we kept walking. Then it hit me. Scott says I suddenly got a big smile on my face and then I said, "Oh, that would be fine." That was it. No down on one knee, no asking my dad for my hand. Nothing romantic. But almost twenty years later we are still happily married (okay, most of the time).

Here is the first thing I want to share with you. Marriage is not happiness and joy all the time. Sometimes it is darn hard work. Sometimes you cry and sometimes you yell, and sometimes you get worried sick. But it is worth it. The important thing is that you are both keep the lines of communication open. When one of you shuts up and refuses to talk anymore, then things get rough.

So my number one recommendation before you have that big wedding: talk, talk, talk. Not terribly romantic; but, a real necessity. Find out how each of you saves/spends money, thoughts on children, goals and dreams. And yes, discuss if you squeeze the toothpaste in the middle or from the end.

I push from the end. Scott is a middle squeezer. It was fairly easy to solve the problem because he uses a different brand of toothpaste than I do so we each have our own tube and neither of us gets frustrated with the other. But money, boy that is another story. I am a saver and Scott is a spender. The first three years were hell until we figured out our money thought processes.

Rough Spots

The other thing that has really helped Scott and I through the rough spots was that my mom's aunt and uncle were celebrating their 53rd wedding anniversary the same month Scott and I got married. We decided that we would commit to 53 years together and then if things were not working out we could re-evaluate and split if necessary. Every time I got mad at Scott I just reminded myself that I could get divorced at the end of those 53 years. Somehow, things always got better and we are still together. Looking back through the years there were several times it would have been easy to say "I quit". But that 53 year commitment was in the back of my head. Now mind you Scott is not an abuser, drunkard, or anything like that. If he had been anything of those things I would have been gone in a New York second, no ifs, ands, or buts!

What can you expect from this blog?

I'll be back later with thoughts on how and where to spend money on the wedding. Ideas that can make it easier for you. So, are you thinking what the heck is her background that she is ready to spout off about weddings?

Well, I am the co-owner of Solid Sound Entertainment, a disc jockey and event coordination service. I have seen my share of wedding ceremonies and receptions. Plus I was the wedding coordinator at my church for two years, I spent one summer working for a party rental company and I managed a special event facility for about 18 months. I've met bridezillas and worked with the sweetest brides in the world. And I have had the pleasure of working with true professionals in the industry, such as Keelee Doan at Crag's Lodge in Estes Park Colorado. That woman knows how to make you feel special!

See you soon.